Breaking the Silence
By Co-founders - A CALL TO MEN
“There’s a code of silence that we don’t dare speak; There’s a wall between and the river’s
deep…” -- Bruce Springsteen “Code of Silence”
In the recent tragedy at Penn State it is reported that trusted Coach Jerry Sandusky was arrested on 40 counts related to allegations of sexual abuse of eight young boys over a 15-year period. This allegedly occurred while other coaches looked on and kept silent about what they saw, what they knew and perhaps even tried to cover up for their colleague and “the program.”
As men we have a long history invested in collusion with other men and codes of silence. Also known as codes of honor, vows of silence, the blue curtain of silence with names like “the family” or “the brotherhood.” Many of us, in our youth and adulthood, have participated in defining violators of the code of silence as haters, suckers, punks, rats, snitches, weasels, a snake and much worse.
This pervasive silence among men in our culture to protect the status quo, to win at any cost, and never tell on your brother is a glaring example of how destructive the current model and definition of manhood operates to demean, diminish and oppress anyone who is not considered a “real man” in our society. Our fear of being perceived as less than a man or weak, keeps us in line with these codes, regardless of right and wrong. This fear is running rampant and dominating our sense of righteousness. Dare we be a “whistleblower” when most of us as boys have been told “don’t be a tattle tale.”
This code protects men from confronting or challenging other men about their behavior, no matter how violent or inappropriate. This agreement has at its foundation the belief that men have more value and should receive entitlements and benefits, even if it compromises the rights and humanity of anyone else and therefore should be given priority, protection
